I knew it was going to be a bad day when I asked my friend what size shirts he wore. He responded, “Extra Medium.” OK, it didn’t really happen, but opening lines are tough to come by!

Today I am going to celebrate how odd we people are. Take this recent headline:

“Circuit courts across the country report downturns in the number of divorce and separation filings. Cook County’s Circuit Court in Chicago saw a 5% decrease in filings – about 600 cases – in the first three quarters of 2008 compared with the same period in 2007. Similar drops have been reported in other cities across the country” (source: MSN Money). The reason: a declining economy. Married couples are forced to stay together for economic reasons.

Undoubtedly, some of these couples will discover that if they are forced (by finances) to stay married to someone, they could find a way to get along with that person. In America’s past, this was not unusual. I will go a step farther: They may actually learn to enjoy that person to whom they are wed.

Here is another one. People will spend a fortune on brand-name bottled soft drinks at a convenience store (close to $2), but make a pilgrimage to the other end of town to save 2 cents per gallon on gas. Why do we throw money away in some areas, yet pinch pennies when it comes to gasoline?

If cholesterol is an issue for you, it makes a difference to use olive oil. If you switch from vegetable oil to extra-virgin olive oil, you may spend between 30 or 60 dollars more per year (for the family). Some people refuse to do so because of the cost. Yet if some health whiz sold them olive oil gel capsules – and the cost was only $5 per month – many folks would think, “What a bargain!” Go figure.

My mother-in-law was that way with pills. When I used to take two weak decongestant pills and one antihistamine pill, she scolded me for taking too many pills. Yet all three of those are commonly offered in one combined pill! By taking them separately, sometimes I was able to reduce my medication to only one decongestant. The issue is not “how many pills?” but “how much medicine?”

Or take parking lots. People will go to the mall or a mega-church and walk a quarter-mile without flinching. If a lot is continuous, it does not matter how large it is. If one parks on the street and walks half a block, it is viewed as quite a journey.

Then there are the “salt” people. You know who you are. You have made an agreement with yourself not to salt your food (rather than simply reduce salt). Because of this, your cooking tastes horrid. So what do you do? You eat out (where food is laden with sodium) or you buy prepared food. As long as you are not the one who puts the salt in, it doesn’t count; your conscience is clear.

When it comes to getting a driver’s license, they invade our privacy and ask our weight. What do we do? Some of us put down our lowest weight of the year (after two weeks of stomach flu). That’s me. Others might even be worse: We list our goal weight!

Then there are those goofy stigmas. Let me give you a few samples. If you are making gravy from roast beef “liquid,” are you making gravy with the grease (no way), or the drippings (yep)? Here is another. I love to cook with prune juice. My Slovak forefathers have long used both prunes and prune juice as an additive to gravies – and for a host of recipes. Chinese cooks often incorporate prune and prune juice in their recipes as well. But here is the difference: The Slovaks call prunes “prunes.” The Chinese are more political. They call their prune sauces “plum” sauces.

I suppose I could start a prune movement. But, then again, prunes often start a movement without my help! Must dash.

Ed Vasicek is pastor of Highland Park Church and a weekly contributor to the Kokomo Tribune.