My sister and I have been playing Scrabble against each other on the computer. Linda lives in New York and things must be pretty dull out there because this is apparently the biggest thing to hit the Big Apple in years. I know she’s already laughing at this column. Tomorrow she’ll brag to her friends how funny I am, and the unmarried ones will inquire if I’m single, which I’m not, but at my age I just like the idea that someone is even asking.

Linda and I were always close growing up. Now that we’re older, we’ve been looking for something that will maintain that relationship without actually having to take the time to talk to each other on the phone or, worse, get on a plane and visit each other. Turns out that Scrabble may not be the best idea.

Linda says she is playing against eight different people, many of whom are males. The fact that my sister likes to talk wordy to all these guys concerns me. Linda is single and this is just inviting men onto her Facebook page – men who want nothing more than to score.

There’s a great deal of nasty stuff going on over the Internet. It’s bad enough that you can use four-letter words online, this game encourages seven- and eight-letter words. Not that I’ve thought of any.

By the way, I really shouldn’t call this Scrabble. The people at Hasbro raised quite a ruckus (which, by the way is worth 36 points if you play it on the triple word score) because the name is copyrighted, so Facebook calls its version Lexulous. One of the differences in the two games is that a T is worth two points in Lexulous and only one point in Scrabble. I can see the expression on your face. This is the stuff you start thinking about when you’re eating dinner at Cracker Barrel at 4 in the afternoon.

There is also an online Scrabble game that you play against the computer. I have enjoyed that competition the past few years because the program provides constant feedback when you make a good move: Big letters pop up and there’s accompanying audio fanfare:

“Good Job! Ta Da!”

“Great Word! Bada Bing!”

“Amazing Play! Hooray!”

My sister also believes in the value of a running commentary. She provides this through Instant Messaging during the game:

“Ya big jerk”

“Xu is not a word”

“I was Dad’s favorite”

“Right now, I’m beating every man I’m playing”

Linda works at a culinary school so she has tried to sneak in the names of a few herbs and spices that I have never heard of. I challenged her on amchur and it turned out to be mango powder. You can imagine how stupid I feel now when I see that in the cupboard every day right next to the curry. She also played the word mugwort, which sounded suspicious, but she’s read every Harry Potter book and I thought it might have been some medieval stew so I didn’t challenge it. I’ll wait while you look it up.

I’ve really enjoyed playing Scrabble with my sister. It has created a closer bond between us. This summer, my wife and I are going on a cruise and Linda is going to join us. I’m hoping we can play Scrabble together, assuming we can find two computers.

By the way xu is a word. You should have checked that when you were looking up mugwort.

Dick Wolfsie is an on-air personality at WISH-TV Channel 8 and weekly contributor to the Kokomo Tribune. Contact him at Wolfsie@aol.com.